Lesson Learning: Check who you’re listening to.
My parents are wonderful. If there is anyone in the world who I trust for advice on raising kids, it’s them. They have been married since 1979 and had 7 kids–together–with no “wild childs” yet. They’ve got the track record, so they’ve got my ear.
I think I’ve made a mistake though.
Since I started this blog I’ve been doing a lot more reading than I used to. For inspiration or just to keep my spirits up! I keep stumbling onto “people who are rich” lists that identify the mindset of people who fit into the top percentage of income compared to the mindset of a lower percentage. I have to admit I’m a comment reading addict too and whenever I stumble on those articles I read what people have to say about it. So many people try to justify why they can’t have the mindset of a rich person: because they’re not rich! You see these comments over and over and the cause and effect reasoning continually argued. Are they rich because of the mindset or do they have the mindset because they’re rich?
I received a piece of advice from one of my favorite people a while back and it comes to mind when I read these articles.
If you want to be rich ask someone who is already rich how they got there. Don’t ask someone who is poor how you can be rich. (For the record, my friend was not wealthy, listened to wealthy people instead of poor people and is now wealthy.)
Today I’ve been realizing this advice can apply to everything!
-If I want to be a good runner, I don’t ask a couch potato, I ask a runner–or better, a trainer!
-If I want to be a good dog trainer, I don’t ask a cat owner or someone with misbehaving dogs how to train my dog, I ask someone with well behaved dogs how they got there.
-If I want to be an author, I don’t ask an accountant, I ask a published author.
-If I want to be a good wife, find someone who has a healthy, happy relationship with her husband and ask her what to do.
For a lot of my life I thought because my parent’s were good at most things, I should get their advice on everything.
(Sorry, mom and dad! I still love and appreciate you!)
J and I have been on an incredible life journey over the last year and we keep seeking people’s advice. We both already know what we want our lives to (roughly) look like and what our dreams are, but then it’s as though we’re asking an accountant what we should do to become a great writer. When her answer is go to college, find a good job to support you and make writing your hobby, that makes sense…for an accountant, but I don’t want to be an accountant.
I admit, it’s a little hard to find the right people to ask. I have people around me who are readily available to listen to my story and offer their advice, but most of them are doctors, nurses, engineers, pastors, and stay-at-home-moms. I don’t know many runners or writers. Since I don’t know many, then should I just take the advice I get from the people who offer it? …eh… I’m not so sure.
So what I’ve been doing for now is … at least gathering info from those who have gone before me, even if I don’t have access to a coffee date with a best-selling author. I’ve been picking up books and reading blogs like crazy from people who write and offer advice about writing.
Their advice about becoming a writer is different from my parents.
So today I’m taking advice more slowly. I’m chewing on it a little longer and I’m asking myself, is this the person I should be asking for advice on this topic? Maybe they’d be better at helping me handle my finances than my dreams. And I’ll take that advice from them in a snap!